I've learned that I have an incredibly low sense of self-worth and that I have a fear of feeling as though I'm wasting other people's time. I've also learned that part of why I don't feel as though my closest friends care about me as much as I do about them, or why it is that I have a kind of feeling as though I feel like an almost 'gimmicky' friend that isn't a true real close friend, is because typically I don't allow myself to be vulnerable with them. I've been trying to be more vulnerable and it's made a huge difference and it's also led to them reassuring me that they do care about me and that even though I may need to take up thier time when I say that I'm aware that I'm using up their time, they can see that I've thought about it and that I care about there time and that that in itself is appreciated and, providing they say they do have the time, makes it okay and also shows that they are happy to spend that time with me helping me or hanging out with me or whatever it may be
Values, empathy and self-awareness are important in learning and programming because they're critical to growing and solving problems. As a learning and programmer, you encounter a lot of frustrating challenges, and you need to be able to know not only how to keep yourself sane, but also think outside of the box with new challenges and work with others in an effective and fun way to help you overcome the challenges you'll face.
What surprised me most about learning core is just how confronting it would be for me. Partially it was due to the fact that I had to try to remember a lot of things, which is pretty confronting for me with my memory issues because often when I remember things it's like they're happening in that moment, which can be a lot at once, especially if multiple things come at once (usually the case) and they're quite emotionally charged memories. I also was very surprised by how much I not only remembered about myself, but also learned about myself. It was so, so so insanely useful revisiting things like neuroplasticity and having a growth mindset and it's really helped me start exploring system and ideas for putting systems back into place for myself, for new ones that can help me tackle either new challenges or old challenges in new ways (especially if I can make any solutions more fun! That goal is nebulous but oh boy when you pull it off and find a way to implement fun, it's so so effective!). I think it's been a really really interesting journey and I'm excited to keep exploring ways I can apply what I've learned because it's been amazing so far and I'm beginning to feel like a problem-solving machine again and I feel like I'm thriving when challenged again! Difficult is becoming fun again! Let's GGGOOO!!!!!
The most challenging aspects of the core learning were remembering things about myself and re-exploring my identity because of how confronting it was.
Because despite the logic of the machines we use, programming and web development are messy human-heavy tasks that involve innovation and collaboration, and to solve the problems we need to tackle we need to be able work together and keep ourselves not only sane, but ideally, at our peak performance and happiness. We're knowledge workers, and that means we need to take care of our brains in the same way a professional removalist needs to take care of their back and greatly benefits from improving their overall strength.
Studying core was the most important thing I've done in the last 5 years of my life, perhaps in retrospect I might be the most important of even longer than that. Going through the core content has helped me rediscover, redefine and refine myself, and despite how challenging I've found it while juggling many, many significant life events at once and Long-COVID recovery, I'm incredibly grateful that I decided to take on the challenge. I am so, so, so pumped for bootcamp, I can't wait to work with other people that have been through the same core content with me and talk about their journeys and learn more about them, what worked for them, what didn't, and what I might be able to help with (providing they want suggestions of course). Let's goooo!!